“Sin is when a man……is untrue to his own constitution.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Recently I read an article on increasing self-confidence on a popular blog for self-development . In that article 10 ways of increasing self-confidence were listed which were :
1. Dress Sharp,
2. Walk faster,
3. Good Posture,
4. Personal Commercial (which means giving a motivation speech to yourself highlighting your strengths and goals),
6. Giving compliment to others,
7. Sitting in front row,
8. Speaking up in Group discussion,
9. Work out (physical activities) ; and
10. Focusing on contributing something to others.
Though this article is a good attempt to provide tips for boosting self-confidence, in my opinion it misses the real point and mention only external methods of boosting self-confidence which will not work for everybody. I think self-confidence is a very intrinsic quality of a person that comes from within. Using external methods like dressing smart or walking faster may help to some extent, but the real self-confidence comes from within and does not require any external attire for its boosting. In this article I would like to suggest a spiritual way of increasing self-confidence which will work for everybody and every situation.
First of all we need to understand what actually self-confidence is.
Self confidence = Trust on oneself.
A trust on you ability to do a particular task with ease is self-confidence. Now when I say task it can be any task. It can be a small task of riding a bicycle, going for shopping alone, or using keyboard in a computer. Or it can be big task of passing an exam, clearing an interview or managing your entire life and making it successful. No matter how smaller or bigger is the task, we must have trust in our abilities to accomplish that task.
Now from where and how can this trust come in us ? A trust that we can do this task efficiently?
Here are some suggestions which will help you develop that trust in you.
First of all : Accept your self honestly and totally. Be brutally honest with yourself. In you are bad, accept it. If you are good, accept it. Don’t try to evaluate yourself from the eyes of others. Look in the mirror and be true to yourself. If you have been a coward till now, accept it. If you are not true to your conscience, accept it. No matter who you are, how morally corrupt you have become, how serious have been shortcomings, the only way to come out from this is to be honest with yourself. We can deceive everybody but we can not deceive ourselves. Once we make an honest evaluation of ourselves, we recognize all our weakness and strengths. A mere acquaintance of our shortcomings and strengths can instill a feeling of confidence in us. We no longer live in dark. We become brave and took all of our responsibility on ourselves.
Secondly, have faith in God and in his plan. The best way to do this is to adopt a moral standard of living. Stick to fair play, do not cheat others, work hard honestly and give your best in whatever field you work. Then leave the rest on God. If you are an atheist, leave the rest on higher intelligence, Existence, Unknown force or whatever you may call it. The law of Karma (Cause and effect ) is the fundamental law of universe. You’ll reap what you sow. So don’t worry about the outcome of your deed. Don’t be fearful. Follow the law: do your duty with integrity and God will take care of the rest.
The above two rules are for managing your entire life with confidence. The third suggestion is for increasing self-confidence in specific circumstances. I found it in one of the greatest inspirational books of all times: “The Power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. Here is the rule:
Whenever you feel down and out, frozen with fear at the start of a work, say the following sentence to yourself:
I can do all things through God that strengthens me.
This sentence has magical power. Repeat the sentence some more time. Say it loud if you can. Say it now as you read it. You’ll find that you get a sudden boost on confidence in yourself. Now with this mindset do the work. You’ll be amazed how easily you can do the task you feared a moment ago. Try this magical sentence. When I read it first time, I was skeptical of it’s power. But when I used it, I find it almost miraculous. Try it. It works.
Fourth method which I would like to tell you is about increasing your self-confidence level gradually while doing a particular task. It is the advice of famous author Dale Carnegie.
“The best way to increase self-confidence is to do the things we fear to do. As you do those things your confidence level will increase and soon you’ll attain perfection in them.”
This advice is the most practical advice and it works like a rule (not magic.)
These are four methods of increasing self-confidence that I told you. If you practice meditation regularly you will adopt these methods quite naturally.
In my future posts, I will give suggestions on improving other areas of our life. So make it point to comeback.